Episode #6: Completion

The post I used to caption the publishing of my last podcast episode was rushed.

And that's the thing about the Feminine. She won't be rushed. Trying to rush her is extractive and entitled.

Not listening to Her, especially at this stage of my work with her, is energetically expensive.

And so she has been working with me these last few months to slow me down to a single point of presence.

And to remove from me anything that is not 'reverence'.

I wasn't sure I would ever create anything again. And I was willing for that to be the case if that was what was true.

I was also willing to let go completely of any creations I had in play that were not true.

I tended only to the steady repair of my nervous system; whose wounding was what was causing the flight of my inner rusher to begin with.

I've been so slow, painstakingly slow, so precise on my body, and her care. I've been very internal, hermit-like.

It felt like I would never come up for air again. I had no sex drive at all. I felt ugly and old.

But I just kept opening where I was. And going down a little more.

Then, I hit a spot where what I was doing work-wise just felt so off, that I was willing to lose every ounce of income in the name of what was true, to create alignment.

What I could see was that my system needs to respond to powerful invitations. And that instead of waiting for those invitations, I had set everything up so that I was initiating them instead.

This felt like sloppy force on my end - sort of like clumsily trying to find the hole to penetrate in the dark. It's a 'I don't trust my desire to be penetrated, so I have to penetrate first'. This is a spill energy.

Once I saw this, I - literally on the ground - surrendered, like, I trust you, you can have anything that isn't true. Take it ALL. I let go of what is not mine.

I turned toward the energy herself. And I was like: I am here to serve you, totally and without question. And, I need you to be unmistakably clear with me. I need powerful invitations from you. I don't want to have to guess.

And I could feel her being like, "Well done, thank you for owning your desire.”

Almost instantly there was a shift. I knew what to do.

I cleared the deck of any work that wasn't in alignment.

And then She came rushing through with her powerful invitation - to tend the land, energy, and sacred fire of Hacienda del Sol.

She is a portal of Source dragon energy in service to the frequency of Essence.

Which is also my frequency.

The resort itself is a healing temple that offers nourishment and repair for the tender nervous system so that we can receive from her as a safe child would to be reborn as our fully embodied and actualized adults.

I could feel the land working me. Working with me. Healing me. Preparing me. And clearing anything remaining within me which does not serve Essence.

Downloads, openings, shifts, adjustments, and clear, clear direction.

I am so willing to serve her no matter what.

With her, I am firmly rooted in both my business woman and my medicine woman (which are really the same thing). My medicine woman leads my business woman.

I completely follow the land's lead.

She is asking me to create new online containers housed in her healing energetic field.

She is asking us to automate and scale so she can grow and support more people.

She gifted me the frequency of True Safety in my body so that I am free of survival to follow her lead.

Her as the land.

Her as the Feminine.

Her as my lineage.

Her as the power in me.

Her as the deepest thing in you.

With pure reverence...
Steffie